Still letting that sink in has been hard. I have been his mom, the one to take care of him for 20 years. And now............. I need to let go. Well, actually I let go awhile ago, but it feels different somehow. It feels as if I can advise, but no longer control. It is up to his final decision not mine. So, I am at a point where I have to trust God wholeheartedly with my son.
Ironically, you know God works that way, the study I am working on this week is focusing on a similar concept. The study is Exodus 2:1-9, the beginning of Moses life. Where his parents saw that he was a fine child, and hid him for 3 months. When they could not hide him anymore Moses's mom placed him in a basket made of bulrushes and laid him in the river. Down the river Pharaoh's daughter discovered the basket, and Moses's sister came forward offering to get a Hebrew woman to nurse the child. Moses's mom came back into the scene to nurse and care for Moses's till he grew older. Then he was given back to Pharaoh's daughter and he became her son.
After reading the passage quite a few times one question came to mind,well maybe lots of questions came to mind. How can a mother, any mother, place their baby in a basket and then place said basket in the river? Wouldn't she want to follow the basket? Didn't she want to keep the child? Wasn't she afraid a crocodile or some creature would eat her child? Plus she GAVE him back to the Pharaoh's daughter?! I am telling you there are a lot of questions to be asked. And yet Moses's mom placed him in that basket and set it in the river. Moses's mom trusted God.
Reading through commentaries, rereading the passage, toying with the words, praying over these thoughts I had a hard to time wrapping my brain around the situation. I kept coming back to the thought could I be that mom? Could I trust God enough with my child to do the same thing that Moses's mom did? I have teens and adults. Unfortunately I struggling with this very concept for my own kids. Do I trust God enough to let them go?
There are quite a few verses that the study has given to us to pray over this week. The verse for today is the one that hit home for me.
As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love. (John 15:9 NSV)
God loves me. Jesus loved me SO much that He died on the cross to save me. With this knowledge I am to abide in His love.
Abide means to dwell, and to accept. There are many other meanings, and many other ways to put it. But in a nut shell there are two meanings, to dwell, and to accept. I am to accept His love, because He first loved me. I am to dwell in His presence because he fist loved me. Would he not do ALL of this for my kids?
God loves my kids just as much as he loves me. God covers my kids just as much as he covers me. If I am willing to accept God's love ad grace I need to accept His provision for ALL situations and ALL members of my family.
I have to say putting your child in a basket and letting go must of been the hardest thing Moses's mom did. But she did it out of faith in God. I need to do the same thing with my kids. I need to let them go out of faith in God. Holding on to Moses's would have killed him. Holding on to my kids won't kill them, but it could kill the relationship that God wants us to have as a family.
Today I take a deep breathe. Today I place my kids in their "basket". I am human and I may (will) pick up that basket tomorrow or go searching for it through out the day. But with each passing breathe I pray God will continue to help me abide in His love so I may let my kids go, and grasp onto Him.
Thank you for Your unfailing love. Thank you that You cover my sins and love me in my mistakes. Thank you that You love my kids, and that You watch over them. Thank you for the plans that You have for them even when I stumble and try to control those plans.
Help me to abide in Your love. Allow me to dwell in Your shelter. Give me the peace of knowing You know the plans You have for myself and my family to succeed and not fail. Surround me with Your arms so I may be assured of Your presence. And help me to love my family as You love me.
In Jesus name, Amen