life with nieces and/or nephews. Others it is young cousins, or better yet friends with kids. Others are blessed with children of our own and even step-children to boot. Any way you look at it, in some way you touch a life of a child.
I have been blessed with four kids. The oldest is my step-son, August. I have know him for 24 years. Being a step-parent has been an adventure in itself. I have had good moments and I have had REALLY bad moments. Probably when I think back I had more bad then good. The point though to this is whether I was a good influence in his life or a bad one, we have a bond. And it is the love I have for him as my child that helped create that bond. Unfortunately there were bad experience and bad choices that weakened the bond between us.
As I am writing this, I am thinking about my Bible reading for the day and the choices these moms made. In 1Kings 3:16-28, the story of King Solomon and the two mothers. In the middle of the night one mom's baby passed in the night. When the other mom awakes, the mom who lost the baby switched them out. At this point the moms went to King Solomon to resolve the problem. As a solution King Solomon offered to cut the baby in half. The mother of the child said, NO give the child to the other mother and let the baby live. The mother of the dead child said, cut the baby in half. King Solomon had his answer.
When I look at the story, there are many different angles I can see. There is the part of the woman whose child died, and reacted selfishly. Then you have the part of the woman whose child lived,and reacted with selflessness. I can relate to each one of the characters.
The woman that lost her baby. She could have been honest, and mourned the child. Found comfort with the other woman and grieved the lost child. Yet she choice to be selfish and switch the babies. Considering only herself in the end. Now if I am going to be totally honest with myself I have been that mom before.
I have not switched babies, or killed someone, or caused catastrophic damage to another. But I have bee mean to someone. I have made choice because of my selfishness and my own desires. Thinking of no one else but me. I have denied a friends joy for my own joy. I claimed victory in a situation when I actually lost. I took claim over a well done job when I did not do the work. I have been in that position and I am not proud of that.
The woman with the child that lived. She made the right decision. She did not get mad or lash out at the other woman. She did not take vengeance out on her. She took her case to the king instead of finding retribution on her own.
How many times have I tried to find vengeance on my own? So many times I cannot count. I have not been this mom. Every time I feel someone wronged me I have complained, yelled, and even made a fool of myself. Instead I should have been that mom. I should have taken my case to the one true King. Just like she did in the end.
My study this week has been focusing on love, Storge love to be exact. Monday's story showed me how a mom can let go, and trust in God for the future of their child. Today's story is a bit harder. I understand in the end I still have to be able to let my kids go and trust God. But I also have come to the conclusion I need to take everything to Him. No hesitation, just take my case to Him and trust that God will make the right decision. The second mom knew that the king would make the right decision. She sought wisdom in him.
I need to stop relying on the world's advice, and wisdom. I need to stop looking to my feelings to justify my choices. If I believe in the one true God, then I need to trust Him to guide my kids. If I believe that God is the author and perfecter of my faith, would He not do the same thing for my kids?!
I am in a ever changing season of life. My kids are no longer "kids". My kids are becoming adults. I am in a season that pushes me, if not demands me to be on my knees. No longer can I make my kids do things, nor make the decisions for them.
I am trusting You.
You have brought me wisdom in some many ways. You have washed me with Your word, and You have comforted me with Your Spirit. I am grateful that You reside in me. And yet I struggle as a parent in letting go. I grasp so tightly onto my family, my kids, that at times I know I am suffocating them. Help me to let go. Bring me the peace that I need to stand in Your shadow. I know you will not leave us nor forsake. Thank you that you give us the grace to stand in your presence. You know my family's future, and I entrust it in your hands.
In Jesus name