2013 for me was a rough year. I started homeschooling three high school students, one of which is a senior. No pressure there mom! My marriage has been a struggle trying to find a balance of not being my controlling self and not losing who God wants me to be. Now for the cherry on top of the cake I lost my dog, and my dad the week before Thanksgiving.... Kind of sounds like a country song. You know the kind you lose your truck, your dog and your man. Hey, you know what I mean, and you know what happens when you play it backwards you get your truck, your dog, and your man back. LOL There is a part of me that wishes it was that easy. But it is not.
I could be like a few of the people in the Bible. There is Jonah who ran from God when he asked him to go to Nenevah, and ended up in the belly of a "large fish" (whale). You could also look at Sarah who solved her own problems of no children by giving her maidservant to her husband. Then when she did get pregnant Sarah blamed everyone but herself, who by the way had the idea. Or I could be like Martha who wanted to serve Jesus with a clean house, a well prepared meal, and yet when the work got overwhelming her sister was not around to help. But her sister was doing what she wanted, resting at Jesus feet. The problem comes about when Martha whines, and I can hear the whine, to Jesus. So you might say I could run from my past year, blame other people for the problems of my past year, whine about my past year to Jesus (which I know He will listen), or better yet I can lean in and learn.
I decided near Christmas time, just before the first of the year I wanted to make 2014 a bit different. I wanted to make changes, not resolutions. I decided I wanted to view my life through different eyes. A change of perspective you might say. Instead of running, blaming, or whining I want to learn.
God brings trials into everyone's life for a reason. He took Jonah to the whale to teach him obedience but also because there was a need of fish smell too. He had Sarah wait till she was old for a baby to learn trust, but also to create two nations. And He showed Martha mercy when she whined knowing she needed to learn it is not just about the works of her life but the love she has for Christ. Now most lessons are two fold, something for the person, myself for instance, to learn and a purpose that God has in that person's life. So after my roller coaster year I have to ask myself what did God want to teach me, and what purpose does He have.
This year I am going to slow down. I want to laugh more, and be angry less. I want to bask in presence of my husband because I know soon it will be only the two of us. I want to enjoy my time with my kids because I know it is dwindling fast. I want to treasure the quiet moments and enjoy the ciaos of my day. I want to embrace what God has done in my life and who God has created me to be. I want to lean in and fall in love with the life God has given me.
No I am not perfect, and no my life is not perfect. But maybe my life is what God wants it to be to show the perfect Son in an imperfect life.